What the Bible teaches about premarrital sex, it's not hard to sum up the message: Don't do it. The Ten Commandments mention it, the laws mention it in Leviticus 18 , Jesus mentions it in Mark 10:6-9, Paul mentions it in 1 Corinthians 6-7. Bible is clear that God's standard is that sex is to be reserved for marriage.
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Lies about premarrital Sex
Lie #1 Sex Produces Intimacy
Premarital sex produces a short-lived chemical cocktail in the brain, that gives the feeling of intimacy. However there are no guarantees that it will produce long-term emotional closeness or relational satisfaction. Sex is designed to be an expression of intimacy in an already close relationship, not the means to it.
Lie #2 Sex can help determine compatibility
Instead of determining compatibility, after marriage, partners can feel threatened, when they think that their spouse compares them with previous partners. It does not promote the determination of compatibility. It de-stablizes trust and intimacy in your future marriage.
Lie #3 Sex brings happiness.
Movies can create a false picture of sex, saying it is "romance". In real life premarrital sex and/or sex with multiple people causes broken hearts, trust issues, hurt feelings, broken friendships, jealousy, worries about pregnancies and STDs, relational problems and so on.
Lie #4 Scripture is Outdated.
Scripture is written for all times. Jesus talks about very popular topics, such as Judging, Anxiety, Divorce. Including the claims about sex and marriage. Scripture actually shows the most succesfull principles for a happy marriage.
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The truth about sex:
Truth #1 Premarrital sex short-cuts the bonding process.
It has been reported that people with previous sexual experiences are more prone to have dissatisfaction in their marriage, unhappiness with their sexual intimacy and even low self esteem.
Truth #2 Sex is more than a physcial act.
True sex is about union. Physcial, but also emotional and spiritual (Mark 10:6-9). The best sex isn't when you get what you want, but when you forget about yourself, and give yourself for the blessing and delight of your spouse. (Eph 5:25).
Truth #3 People that wait till they are married, have a stronger marriage and a better tendecy to be faithfull to their spouse
Truth #4 Sex is an expression of intimacy, not a means to it.
Truth #5 God designed sex to be within marriage. [True Love Waits , Students]
The Bible does not mention "intercourse", instead it says "two become one flesh". The context tells us that a "A man shall leave father and mother, cleave unto his wife and the two become one flesh." There is much in these verses, but part of this is that both shall leave their current lives behind and start a new one together [Marriage]. With new goals. A new life together sharing their joys, pains and love.
Truth #6 Sex is progressive
A relationship between a guy and a girl, naturally becomes more intimate, as they spent time together. Therefore an early descision in the relationship is needed to put this progession on a slower time-table. It almost never works to allow all preliminary intimacies during the progession of the relationship and then to try to stop it short of having sex. Few people will have the willpower to do that.
Truth #7 Premarrital sex is a sin, therefore it will become an obstacle with your fellowship with God.
Truth #8 Sex outside of marriage is ultimately unsatisfying and destructive. God's design: Sex only within marriage is the best and most fullfilling choice.
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Link is Updated: Tips for Healthy Dating (OR Go to http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers and "Dating" in search)
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Restoration if you already crossed that line:
God is forgiving - 1 John 1:9 promises that God forgives our sins, when we confess them. bring this to God.
God is holy - The Bible teaches that sex belongs within marriage. Therefore stop, sexual sin is wrong.
God restores - The Bible tells us that God blots out our sins, as if they even never existed Psalm 103:12. Therefore God will restore you. It is important that you reconcile with God and continue your personal relationship with Him. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Quiz Time
Watch: Sex, Marriage, Fairy Tales and How do you know he/she is the One!
Learning More on these websites:
Christian Answers: Why save sex for marriage
Christian Answers: My boyfriend wants me to have sex, and I am afraid to loose him
Focus: Solomon on Sex
Focus: Red Flags in a relationship
Focus: Marriage & Relationships
Alcorn: Guidelines for Sexual Purity
Books: I loved a girl by Walter Trobisch. Life on the Edge by James Dobson
Video:Chad Eastman Live The outrageous Keith Deltano :
Pam Stenzel: Sex still has a price tag:
